just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
