nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
