I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize