It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
