i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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