I want to stick my p in your. b.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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