I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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