I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My liver just had a heart attack.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
