Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize