Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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