I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
