remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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