They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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