omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
