white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
