i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
being pregnant is like rehab
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
