you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
