they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
