she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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