ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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