i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
