you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
