Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
