Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize