i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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