It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize