dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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