Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
