smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
