i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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