Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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