It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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