I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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