Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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