I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
