laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize