therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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