Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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