I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
