So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
