A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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