I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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