yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
