wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
