I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
