I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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