what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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