He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
