Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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