just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
