instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize