i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
