She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
