It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
