I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
