girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
