I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
