Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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