There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
