One girl and one boy is just not enough.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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