fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize