if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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