saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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